Who Do That Voodoo?: Part Deux Deux

Here’s the latest breaking news on my family Voodoo saga: 

We’ve spared no expense in keeping our creepy ass neighbors from committing additional acts of creepy ass Santeria Voodoocity on our property.

We’ve installed high tech, high priced heat sensor devices on every inch of our property. These specific devices were used in the film “Alien vs. Predator”, or so it was claimed on the eBay auction I won last week.

Now, no raccoon or stray cat can set paw on our property without setting off an elaborate system of lawn sprinklers and a 200 Db alarm warning system that I’ve customized to shout “Die, Zombie, Die” in my own voice. Unfortunately, I didn’t consider the possibility that Voodoo zombies may have no actual body heat, rending the device useless against members of the undead persuasion. 

On a more practical note, we’ve installed an anti-Voodoo wall arrangement in our front hall. 

The Front Hallway Wall of Anti-Vodoo

Brazilian House Protection Fetish

$49.95 from Uncle Hoodoo's House of Voodoo

While three of the four masks aren’t officially Voodoo-related in origin, the fourth is a super powerful Brazilian household protection fetish I purchased online for $50 from Uncle Hoodoo’s House of Voodoo in New Orleans.

Be it the heat sensing security system. The anti-Voodoo wall of terror, or a combination of the two, I’m pleased to announce that there have been no further acts of Voodoocity on our property. Although, I must attest to the fact that the neighborhood raccoons have taken to bringing their food around for a nightly washing under the sprinkler alarm system. The water bill is going to be monster.

But, while our Black Rock backyard has remained secure against headless chicken attack, downtown Bridgeport has once again been the site of Voodoo activity.

 http://hubpages.com/hub/826paranormalinvestigatesoccult

I don’t actually mind your run of the mill, mainstream chicken bones and pin dolls arrangement, but the addition of Matchbox cars and Dunkin Donut cups is a bit gauche for my tastes. (Something tells me that this particualr curse altar is directed at Bridgeport’s finest.) 

Stay tuned to this blog for future Voodoo updates. 

And now In closing, I’ll leave you with the words of the great Delman Mangrove essay “My Waitress is So Slow That I Think She’s Dead” from his essential “The Layman’s Guide To Perspicacity”.  

“Don’t just stand there like a Zombie, Lucille. Run around like a chicken with your head cut off, and get me my omelet.”

Blogus Ridiculum

 PT